During the last 10 years that I have been working as a counsellor for individuals and couples as well as being married for over 20 years, I have found that most of us seem to have trouble with letting love in.
This appears to be a huge contradiction to the general consensus that we all so desperately want and need to be loved.
So why when love arrives gently at our doorstep do we have so much trouble opening up and letting it in?
Many of us have grown up not knowing what true love is, we are told that we are loved, it’s written in cards and in messages but how many of us have actually felt truly loved and cared for, just for who we are?
On top of that we may not have been supported in learning to love ourselves, to develop our connection with ourselves and to make choices that support a healthy and vital body.
So how do we stop this cycle, as in truth we cannot blame our parents or anyone else for that matter because they may not have been raised in love either.
For many generations the focus was on survival, making sure that we enough money for food and a roof over our heads.
There was also the trauma of war and periods of depression. Although this is not the era with live in today, many of the consciousness’s of old have carried through and still subconsciously drive our choices and ways of being today. The focus is around money, having enough or accumulation of wealth; big homes, cars, holidays etc and also centralises heavily around what we do; our work, our achievements and that our lives must present well regardless of what is truly going on.
This will bring us the joy and fulfilment we are missing in our lives right?
The plain truth is, it doesn’t and we all know it.
Rates of depression, anxiety and suicide have never been higher; obesity rates are soaring as is diabetes and many other chronic conditions. This clearly states that something is very wrong in the way we are choosing to live our lives today.
The good news is we all have the power to change this, we are not victims of this world, of our family or society.
By choosing to take full responsibility for where we find ourselves, with as much love and care for ourselves that we can muster, true change can and will take place. It is through beginning to really love ourselves, and getting support in letting go of the hurts we carry, can we find ourselves in a place where we can begin to truly love another.
Love itself can never hurt you, how can it?
Love just loves, it asks for nothing because it knows it is already everything.
It is at the central core of who we are. Love will never leave us but we can certainly choose to reject it.
This is where I have found many have an issue, they reject love. I have found this is partly because we have grown up with a distorted view of what love really is.
We are taught to believe that love is something outside ourselves that comes to us, something we get if we do the right thing or something rare that only special people get to experience.
All of this is simply not true.
The love we so desperately seek resides within in us, and by making choices that support our connection to this love, this is something we can get to live each day, it is ours. Due to it’s endless abundance that can be felt when lived, we will then love nothing more than to share this love with others by letting them in to feel it too, so they may be reminded that it is within them also.
We come to know that we do not own love but that it is part of everyone, equally.
Love is about letting people in, so when we don’t like ourselves or fear that love may hurt us, we put up protection against it.
This simply does not make sense as to reject love we are rejecting ourselves which is an incredibly painful and exhausting thing to do, and something that will never truly work anyway.
Does this protection prevent us from getting hurt?
No it doesn’t. Why?
Because the very act of rejecting love and of keeping people out is where the true damage is done, this is what hurts us most.
The time is now to reconnect to the love within so we can begin to experience the abundance and joy that true love can bring.
By truly listening to our bodies and eating a diet that supports us to be centered and balanced, to do some gentle exercise everyday, to go to bed early and to develop open and honest relationships with ourselves and those around us are simple and straight forward ways of being that lead back to connecting to the love within.
But this is just the beginning because there are never ending ways we can deepen our love, with self-awareness and commitment we have the potential to live from this endless and abundant love 24/7.